The Race
by Mizu-Ryuuseisui Inc
Summary: That's write, another fic by the authors of Month of Torture! this time, all the seishi are having a race through all the four countries! Please review!
1. Poor, pooooor Reporter

Hi there from Mizu-Ryuuseisui, Inc! We've been planning this fic since October, when Kouran became an FY fan! And, so, finally, I'm happy to present -  
  
The Race  
  
Reporter: ::taps microphone:: Okay here we are! Today, instead of fighting it out, the Seiryuus and Suzakus are having their final competition - A seishi race! Today, the Suzaku seishi and the Seiryuu seishi will each race against members of their own team to determine the best among them, and then - the two finalists will race each other in the final battle between Suzaku and Seiryuu! I'm here with Suzaku seishi Tasuki, who seems confident that he will win... What makes you think so, Tasuki? ::holds out mic::  
  
Tasuki: Well, ya know, it's ::beep:: not very ::beeping:: hard when your ::beep:: Suzaku-given power is super speed, you ::beeping:: know what I mean?  
  
Reporter: Ah... sure.  
  
Chichiri: ::sigh:: I wish Tasuki knew about manners  
  
Reporter: ::eager to get away from Tasuki:: Ah, sir! Which one are you?  
  
Chichiri: ::strikes his famous chibi peace-sign pose:: I'm Chichiri, no da!  
  
Reporter: Oh, I see! Pleasure too meet you... ::mutter:: all the seishi are insane. ::aloud:: And do you think that you will win?  
  
Chichiri: Well, you see, I was sure I would, before I realized that transporting wasn't allowed... But I am allowed to use most of my other magic, no da, so I'm still pretty confident, no da!  
  
Kouran: I KNOW that you going to win ::in Chichiri cheerleading outfit with her friends:: ::chanting 'go Chichiri!!!'  
  
Reporter: Ah, I, er, I see... Look, uh, why don't I go over here to the, um, SEIRYUU seishi!!!! ::runs away like heck::  
  
Suboshi: ::bounces in front of the reporter before anyone else can get there and warn him:: Hi, Mr. Reporter Guy! Wanna interview me?  
  
Reporter: Uh, sure... which one are you?  
  
Suboshi: I'm Suboshi! I have longed for the day when a reporter finally hands me the microphone... ::starry-eyed::  
  
Reporter: Uh, okay, why don't you just tell us a bit about yourself, then?  
  
Suboshi: ::takes the microphone and puts a sad expression on his face:: Oh, you see, I'm in love with the Seiryuu no Miko... but she doesn't love me! ::wipes away a tear:: It's terribly sad, because I've had no one since my brother died, you see...  
  
Audience: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!  
  
Suboshi: If you want to cheer me up and be my friend, call this toll-free number! 1-800-SUBOROX!  
  
Kouran: ::calling that toll-free number:: yes I want to be Suboshi's friend!  
  
Reporter: ::grabs the microphone back from him:: Okay, ANYWAY! Do you think you'll win?  
  
Suboshi: YES!! I WILL DEFEAT YOU, TAMAHOME!!! ::yelling at the camera:: DO YOU HEAR ME, OBAKE-CHAN?!!! YOU DIE TODAY!!!  
  
Amiboshi: ::coughs:: ::taps Suboshi on the shoulder:: Otouto... I'm alive.  
  
Suboshi: ANIKI! ::glomp::  
  
Audience: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! ::sobs::  
  
Reporter: Uh, let's go over this way now... ::to Nakago, who is fully equipped with Soi hanging off of him:: Hello, sir, who are you?  
  
Nakago: ::expressionlessly:: I am Nakago.  
  
Reporter: And do you think you will win?  
  
Nakago: Win? Pah! I will become a god and take over the world. ::Lightning and thunder flashes:: Lightning effects thanks to Haku Kaen. ::raises arm that has Soi clinging to it::  
  
Ashitare: ::bounds up:: Rawr roo arr arf arf bark ruff aroooooooo Ashitare ruff ruff bark arf rawr groarrr aaaaaaarrrrrroooooooo roooo rooooo rooooooooooo!!!  
  
Reporter: I take it you are Ashitare...  
  
Ashitare: ::nods and pants happily:: Arf arf want to eat your flesh bark bark aroooooooo!!!  
  
Reporter: ::turns pale and runs away back to the Suzaku seishi::  
  
Reporter: ::runs to a big man:: Um, hello... ummmm, hello sir?  
  
Mitsukake: .....................  
  
Reporter: And you are...?  
  
Mitsukake: ..........................SHOUKA! ::bursts into tears::  
  
Reporter: Oh, Shouka... Um, what a, um, nice name... ::backs away slowly::  
  
Tamahome: Mr. Reporter! THERE you are!! ::grabs mic:: SUBOSHI I WILL WIN NOT YOU!! I'M SO MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU, YOU HEARTLESS FAMILY-KILLING JERK!! AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID ANGSTY PAST!!!  
  
Suboshi: ::runs over and grabs the mic:: OH, YEAH?!! JUST BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS WERE NEVER KILLED BY KUTOU ARMY SOLDIERS, YOU'RE JEALOUS BECAUSE EVERYONE FEELS SORRY FOR ME, NOT YOU! ME!!!!  
  
Tamahome: ::grabs it back:: WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU KILLED MY FAMILY? THEN EVERYONE HATED YOU!  
  
Suboshi: SHUT UP!  
  
Tamahome: YOU SHUT UP!  
  
Suboshi: YOU SHUT UP!  
  
Tamahome: YOU SHUT UP!  
  
Suboshi: YOU!  
  
Tamahome: YOU-::Reporter grabs mic back::  
  
Reporter: WELL! I think that was a good example of the rivalry between Suzaku and Seiryuu... ::to Suboshi:: Why don't you go over there? I think you're getting a phone call...  
  
Suboshi: Oh, thanks! ::runs back:: yes?  
  
Voice of Kouran: I WANT TO CHEER FOR YOU! YOU ARE SOO CUTE! And TAMAHOME IS SOO WRONG! You will win! Not him!  
  
Suboshi: ::blush:: um.thanks!! ^_______^  
  
Reporter: Um... ::sees Nuriko:: Miss! Hello! ::hearts in eyes::  
  
Nuriko: ::glares:: I'm a guy, so don't get any funny ideas.  
  
Reporter: ::disappointed:: Oh. Well. Which one are you?  
  
Nuriko: I'm Nuriko! I'd like to say a big hello to my brother Rokou! ::winks::  
  
Reporter: And do you think you will win?  
  
Nuriko: I have a few tricks up my sleeve... ::picks up a huge boulder and spins it on his finger::  
  
Reporter: Wow, Miss - um, sir, that's quite impressive...  
  
Nuriko: ::flashes a grin:: Thanks. Also to my brother Rokou, Kourin says hi up in the afterlife, okay?  
  
Reporter: All right, we'll be back after these messages for the big race!!  
  
There we go! For all you Month of Torture fans, we wrote this thinking of you (and those new reviews we got - thanks, guys! ^_^) We'll write more soon!  
  
~Kouran (Mizu) and Taira (Ryuuseisui) Mizu-Ryuuseisui Inc 


	2. Everyone hits on Kouran

Okay! Were back Taira and I ^_^ REVIEW US NOW!!!! Thank you ::Ahem:: Please excuse Kouran. We're online waiting for reviews now... I would also like to say that Kouran in this fic isn't the one who's writing the fic, she's totally different, she's just our interpretation of Kouran, okay?  
  
*  
  
::Camera cuts to Reporter flirting with Kouran::  
  
Reporter: So, ya wanna go out sometime, sweetheart?  
  
Kouran: ::blush::  
  
Reporter: ::sees the camera on him:: Oh, damn! I'm on!!  
  
Kouran: ::takes hold of the microphone:: To anyone out there, okay I may be easily flattered, but I am ENGAGED! Okay, Hikou?!! Okay, Reporter guy?!! Okay, all the rest of you? Engaged!  
  
Reporter: ::sniffles:: ::takes the microphone:: Here we are at the ::sniff:: the biiiiiig race... ::brightly:: Kouran-ai! Wanna be my co- reporter?  
  
Kouran: Okay! First go the Suzaku seishi with CHICHIRI!! CHIRI-CHAN'S GONNA WIN!!!  
  
Chichiri: ::grins::  
  
Reporter: They're lining up... you could cut the tension with a -  
  
Kouran: DAGGER!  
  
Reporter: ::grins goofily:: Yeah... You could cut the tension with a dagger! The audience is on the edge of their seats!  
  
::pistol shoots, signaling the start::  
  
Kouran: And they're off! Chichiri's in the lead!  
  
::We see Tasuki shooting ahead of everyone else::  
  
Reporter: But, Kouran-ai, Tasuki... ::looks at her, and realizes again how utterly pretty she is:: Chichiri is in the lead!  
  
Kouran: ::smiles prettily::  
  
::Huge boulder suddenly falls on Tasuki and Nuriko speeds ahead::  
  
Chichiri: ::freezes Nuriko and runs ahead::  
  
Kouran: ::really excited that Chichiri is REALLY in the lead this time:: YEAH! CHICHIRI! GO CHICHIRI! Chichiri is pulling ahead!!!! Isn't it GREAT?!!!!  
  
::huge chi blast comes up::  
  
Kouran: ::upset:: No! Chichiri! LOOK OUT, MY LOVE!!  
  
Reporter: ::looks depressed::  
  
::Chichiri dodges the chi blast by going chibi so that it goes over his head:: ::waves at Kouran::  
  
::Mitsukake quietly stops running to lift the boulder and heal Tasuki, who races off ahead of Chichiri::  
  
Chichiri: ::teary-eyed::  
  
Kouran: ......AND CHICHIRI IS STILL IN THE LEAD!!!  
  
Reporter: Yes! He, uh, is! ::looks sideways at Kouran::  
  
Tasuki: -_-;;;;; ::still ahead::  
  
Mitsukake: ::quietly passes Nuriko and unfreezes him::  
  
Kouran: ::looks at Tasuki:: Awwwww, he's adorable... I mean, I'm engaged! ::chants this to herself to make herself remember::  
  
Reporter: ::relieved that Kouran likes Tasuki now:: And Tasuki races ahead! ::wipes sweat off of his brow::  
  
Nuriko: ::throws a boulder at Chichiri at the same time that Chichiri freezes Tasuki::  
  
::Nuriko gets ahead::  
  
Kouran: ........And Chichiri speeds ahead of Tasuki to be in the lead again!  
  
Reporter: ::sighs and sweatdrops::  
  
Kouran: Well, it's true!  
  
Reporter: ::looks into her eyes:: ::hearts:: Whatever you say, Kouran-chan- san-sama-domo-ai!  
  
Kouran: Now there's one I haven't heard before...  
  
Mitsukake: ::jogs along quietly::  
  
Chiriko: ::can't run very fast, because he keeps tripping over his long... robe-thingy::  
  
Kouran: KA-WA-II!  
  
Hotohori: ::is walking along so as not to muss his hair::  
  
Tamahome: ::pauses as he's running to flick the finger at Suboshi:: HA! I'M GONNA WIN! ::races ahead of Nuriko::  
  
Mitsukake: ::quietly jogs along:: ::heals Chichiri:: ::jogs::  
  
Tamahome: ::running in the lead and making various rude gestures in Suboshi's direction:: I'm winning! Hahahahahahahaha! Loser!!!! ::gets frozen by Chichiri:: ::swears to himself::  
  
Chichiri: I HEARD THAT!  
  
Mitsukake: ::going around healing people:: ::his power runs out just as he reaches the frozen Tasuki:: ::shrugs:: ::keeps jogging::  
  
Reporter: And they're now reaching the first checkpoint at Kutou!  
  
Kouran: CHICHIRI'S IN THE LEAD!!!!  
  
Reporter: Actually, he is! Chichiri is the first to reach the checkpoint and receives a ten minute break! Meanwhile, let's see the rest of the seishi... ::Mitsukake is second, behind Chichiri. Tasuki and Tamahome have stayed frozen on the track::  
  
Suboshi: ::in front of the frozen Tamahome, taunting him and cracking up::  
  
Tamahome: ::staring trying to keep his cool::  
  
Suboshi: ::having too much fun::  
  
Kouran: ::also having fun with Suboshi:: Okay! Now lets go to Kutou! I love it here! It's all bluey and watery!  
  
::Reporter and Kouran teleport to Kutou, where Tomo and Miboshi have been all this time::  
  
Tomo: ::sees Kouran:: ::quickly takes off his makeup:: Well, HELLO there!  
  
Kouran: ::starts to roll her eyes, then catches sight of Tomo:: ::eyes widen:: Hell-ooooo!!!  
  
Miboshi: Hi there, Kouran, sweetie...  
  
Kouran: ::slaps him:: PERVERT!!  
  
Tomo: ::being a total hypocrite:: Miboshi! Don't harass dear little sweet Kouran!  
  
Kouran: ::sniffs::  
  
Reporter: ::comes up:: Kouran-ai, let's go report some more...  
  
Tomo: Kouran, wanna join the Seiryuu team?!!  
  
Kouran: ::goes with the reporter::  
  
::They see that by now, all the seishi have reached the checkpoint::  
  
Kouran: Oh, well! ::goes back in cheerily::\  
  
Reporter: ::Looks back at Tomo flirting with her:: ::sadly:: We'll be back... ::sniff:: After these... ::sniff:: messages...  
  
*  
  
There we go! Wow, we've written a lot this time... REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! 


	3. Chichiri's Dilemma WILL THIS BE THE END...

Hi, it's us again! STUPID PEOPLE HAVEN'T BEEN REVIEWING! Therefore we're back with a NEW chapter! Here goes!  
  
~~~  
  
Reporter: ::crying:: K-Kouran-aiiiiiii...  
  
Kouran: ::giggling over by Tomo (minus the make-up):: Sorry, Mr. Reporter Guy, I've decided to join the Seiryuus...  
  
Tomo: ::sticks out tongue:: Get your own girl!  
  
Reporter: ::has an idea:: But, Kouran! Don't you remember? You're ENGAGED!!!  
  
Kouran: ::freezes:: ::looks upset:: But... but I LIKE Tomo!!!  
  
Tomo: I like you too, Kouran!!!  
  
Reporter: What about Chichiri?! Kouran - Don't you remember his scar?!!! His gorgeous blue hair... His cheery greeting!  
  
Kouran: ::sniffles:: But... but... HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN DISLOYAL?!! Chichiri-sama!!! ::rushes to the other side of the checkpoint building, where Chichiri is::  
  
Tomo: ::looks confused:: Um... what just happened?  
  
Reporter: Sorry, I'd love to explain it to you, but I have my job to do! We'll be back after these commercials!  
  
~~~  
  
::Mitsukake and Nakago walk on::  
  
Nakago: Hi there, viewers! I'm Nakago, and this is my pal and singing partner, Mitsukake! We two have the best voices you'll hear in Konan, Kutou, Hokkan or Sairou! Isn't that right, Mitsukake?  
  
Mitsukake: ............... ::plainly means "yes"::  
  
Nakago: Well, anyway, look for our new CD: "Dragon and Phoenix Combined - The Vocal Wonders of Suzaku Seishi Mitsukake and Seiryuu Seishi Nakago!" This amazing song collection includes hit songs like "Blue Eyes, Blue", "Hidarite ni kioku", "Hokou (Wandering)" and "Sora ga Mieru"!! Plus, FOUR new, never-been-heard duets by the two most smooth-voiced followers of Suzaku and Seiryuu! Buy it now!!!!  
  
~~~  
  
Reporter: And Chichiri, who is IN THE LEAD ::Kouran looks happy:: has finished his ten minute break and is off! ::Camera shot of Chichiri in chibi running along::  
  
Kouran: ::is in her cheerleading outfit with her pompoms again:: GO CHICHIRI! GO CHICHIRI! GO CHICHIRI! YOU RUUUUUUUULE!!!!  
  
Reporter: Er... right. In just a few minutes Nuriko, who is in second place, will be finishing his break and will be on Chichiri's tail. Let's see how Chichiri's using his start. Is he taking it easy, before the others catch up, or is he taking advantage of the extra -  
  
Kouran: Who cares! HE'S WINNING!  
  
Reporter: Er, yes. Anyway.  
  
Miboshi: ::sidles up to Nakago:: ::whispers:: Hey, Nakago! I have an idea!  
  
Nakago: Oh, really? This better be good, Miboshi...  
  
Miboshi: How about we tie up that pretty little Kouran chick, leave her in a warehouse, write a ransom note and tell Chichiri he has to give up his win to get her back!!  
  
Nakago: Hmmm... I like it! Let's do it.  
  
Miboshi: ::sneaks up behind Kouran:: ::throws a sack over her head:: ::carries her off::  
  
Reporter: So, Kouran, I was thinking... about your engagement... ::turns and sees that she's gone:: Uh, Kouran...?  
  
Miboshi: ::carries Kouran over to Nakago:: ::Miboshi and Nakago tie her up and gag her with duct tape::  
  
Nakago: ::Holds up that book, 101 Uses for Duct Tape and grins:: Once again, this book is useful!  
  
Miboshi: ::flips through it:: Ooh, a duct tape bag... I could get a pretty pink one...  
  
Nakago: Um, Miboshi, we're in the middle of something here... And anyway, I think magenta is more your color...  
  
Miboshi: Oh, right. Sorry.  
  
Nakago: Okay, you write the ransom letter, I'll guard the hostage.  
  
Miboshi: ::looks annoyed:: No, how about you write the letter and I'LL guard the hostage?!  
  
Nakago: You DARE to admonish ME, vermin?!!! ::lightning crackles::  
  
Miboshi: O_O... I'll go write the letter now...  
  
Nakago: ::smirks::  
  
(The authors would like to thank Demon Diary, Volume 1 for the inspirational quote)  
  
::Miboshi goes off::  
  
Nakago: ::circles around Kouran:: So... my pretty prisoner... Soi isn't here... how about you take her place?  
  
Kouran: Mmmmm... Mmmm mmm mmm mmmmmm! ::points to the duct tape on her mouth::  
  
Nakago: Ah, yes... ::rips it off:: So, would you like to take her place?  
  
Kouran: ::has no idea what Soi does for Nakago:: Okay, mister! That sounds fun!  
  
Nakago: ::smiles eeeeeevilly:: All right...  
  
Miboshi: ::comes back in at just the wrong moment:: Okay, Nakago, I dropped the letter where he will find it!!  
  
Nakago: ::looks annoyed:: Er... good. Now go away.  
  
Miboshi: But, don't you want to see Chichiri's face when he finds the note?  
  
Nakago: Videotape it for me.  
  
Miboshi: But...  
  
Nakago: How DARE you admonish ME, vermin?!!!!  
  
(Thanks again, Demon Diary!)  
  
Miboshi: Er, right, I'll just go now... ::levitates out the door quickly::  
  
Kouran: So, what exactly DOES Soi do?  
  
Nakago: Well... ::whispers in Kouran's ear EXACTLY what Soi does::  
  
Kouran: Ewwwwwwww!!! With YOU?! I'm not doing that!!!!  
  
Nakago: Well, if you insist... ::smiles evilly::  
  
(And we'll be back after these messages!!!!!!)  
  
~~~  
  
Chichiri: Do you find your hair is rather... boring?  
  
Chiriko: Do you find people totally ignoring you because you don't stand out enough?  
  
Both: Try M.A.P. hairspray!  
  
(Don't ask. Just don't.)  
  
Chichiri: it will make your hair go from this...  
  
::shot of Chichiri looking mad, with his bangs all floppy and Chiriko sniffling with his hair down::  
  
Chiriko: ...to this!  
  
::shot of Chichiri looking happy with his bangs up again and Chiriko looking happy with his hair normal again::  
  
Both: Try M.A.P.! It's the only hairspray that will REALLY make your hair stand on end!  
  
~~~  
  
Nakago: I suppose Soi does other things too... Gives me foot massages... brings me whatever I want... brushes my hair... ::goes on and on:: Would you prefer to do those things?  
  
Kouran: Uh, okay...  
  
Nakago: Give me a foot massage! NOW!!!!  
  
Kouran: ::looks scared:: ::takes off Nakago's boots and socks:: Ew, the smell!!!!!!!! X_X  
  
Nakago: You DARE to insult my FEET, vermin?!!!!!! ::lightning crackles::  
  
Kouran: Um, I mean, what a lovely smell! Just like... flowers!!  
  
Nakago: ::smiles::  
  
~~~  
  
Miboshi: ::sitting in mid-air with a video camera::  
  
Chichiri: ::running along:: ::sees the note lying there on the grass:: Hmm, I wonder what that is, no da? ::picks it up and reads it as he runs:: ::gasps:: K-Kouran!!! NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
The Note:  
  
DEar cHIChiri,  
  
WE HaVE yOur K0uRaN. GiVE uP y0uR cHAnce aT wINNIng oR eLsE!!!  
  
-AnOnyMOUs  
  
Chichiri: ::chibi eyes start watering:: Nooo! My Kouran! ::sniffles and stops running::  
  
Reporter: ::runs up and picks up the note:: Well, this is amazing! Chichiri has gotten a ransom note! Will he sacrifice his win in return for the woman he loves? And if he doesn't, what will happen to Kouran?!!!  
  
Chichiri: Of course I'm going to give up my win, you idiot, no da!!!!!  
  
Reporter: Touchy, touchy...  
  
Chichiri: ::face the crowd:: Okay, everyone out there, I've STOPPED RUNNING, no da! Let Kouran go, no da!  
  
Kouran: ::runs out to him:: Oh, Chichiri! He was making me give him a FOOT MASSAGE!!! ::sniffles::  
  
Chichiri: ::gasps:: Who?! He shall PAY!! Who was it, Kouran?!!  
  
Kouran: Um... ::wrinkles her nose:: I forget his name.  
  
Chichiri: ::sighs:: That's my Kouran...  
  
Kouran: ::sweatdrop::  
  
::Laugh track::  
  
~~~  
  
End! And just to remind you... if you don't review, it may be quite a while until Month of Torture gets a new chapter... It's getting harder to get inspired for it, anyway... so REVIEW!!! Got that?!!!  
  
~Taira and Kouran, Mizu-Ryuuseisui Inc  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (mizu) O----------------------O (ryuuseisui) 


End file.
